Teen aggression and arguments

Find out how to cope with heated arguments with your teenager, and what to do if they become violent.

This page covers:

• How to defuse arguments with your teen
• How to deal with violent behaviour
• Concerned about mental health issues?
• Help and support

How to defuse arguments with your teen

It’s useful to remember that your own behaviour can improve or worsen an aggressive situation, so it’s important to be a good role model for your teen.

If you act aggressively but tell your teenager not to, they will not listen. It’s also helpful to remember that their anger is often based on fear that they’re losing control.

Try these tips:

• try to maintain a calm and peaceful presence – you need to be strong without being threatening
• make sure your body language reflects your willingness to listen
• give them personal space
• if an argument feels out of control, explain to your teen that you are going to walk away and come back again in half an hour in order for things to calm down

Breathing exercises can help take the intensity out of an argument. Take a deep breath, hold for a few seconds and then exhale. Repeat 5 times.

When your teen is calm, suggest this technique to them so they, too, have a way of controlling their anger.

Remember that teens may not know how to handle their anger, and this can leave them frustrated and frightened.

However, as with toddlers, if you give in to teenagers because their shouting and screaming intimidates or baffles you, you are in effect encouraging them to repeat the unreasonable behaviour as a way of getting what they want.

How to deal with violent behaviour

Sometimes, teen aggression can turn into violence. If they lash out at you, or someone or something else, put safety first.

Let your teenager know that violence is unacceptable and you will walk away from them until they’ve calmed down. If leaving the room or house is not helping, call the police. After all, if you feel threatened or scared, then you have the right to protect yourself.

Family Lives offers this advice for coping with, and helping, a violent teen:

• give them space – once they have calmed down, you may want to talk to them about what has happened and suggest that they let you find them some help
• be clear – teenagers need to know that you will stand by the boundaries you set. They need to know that any kind of violence is unacceptable
• talk to their school – find out if their aggressive behaviour is happening there as well. Some schools offer counselling
• avoid using violence towards your teen – this sets a positive example that violence is not OK
• arrange counselling – if your teen admits they have a problem and is willing to get help, book an appointment with a counsellor or psychologist as soon as possible. Speak to a GP or their school about what help is available

Concerned about mental health issues?

If you’re worried that your teen has a mental health problem such as depression, talk to a GP. They can refer them to the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services, who in turn can refer you and your family for Family Therapy.

You can also contact the Young Minds Parents Helpline on 0808 802 5544 (9.30am to 4pm Monday to Friday) for advice and support concerning mental health issues in young people.

If you are having trouble coping with your teenager, and you suspect you may have symptoms of depression or other mental health problems, discuss this with a GP. They can then suggest suitable treatment.

You may, for example, be referred for counselling, or directed to support groups or other services in your area.

Help and support

There are many organisations that offer emotional support and practical advice to you and your teen. At such an important development stage, it’s important that teens learn how to communicate well and express anger in a healthy way.

• call Family Lives on 0808 800 2222 (9am to 9pm Monday to Friday, 10am to 3pm Saturday to Sunday). The charity also offers online parenting courses
• you can call the Samaritans on 116 123 any time to talk about any type of distress and to get confidential support and advice; or you can email jo@samaritans.org
• Youth Access has details about youth organisations and services offering teens counselling, advice and support
• the charity Young Minds supports children and young people with mental health and anger issues, and their parents. If you discuss your child’s behaviour with them and they are open to getting help, you might like to direct them to the information on the Young Minds website

Double murder accused ‘looked like a zombie’ moments after alleged knife attack, witness tells jury

Mouhamadou Fall, 23, denies murdering his dad Sidy Fall and passer-by Norman Scott

Norman Scott, right, with his daughter Nardia

A man has recalled the moment he encountered a double murder accused moments after an alleged knife attack – telling jurors he ‘looked like a zombie’. Mouhamadou Fall, 23, allegedly stabbed his father, Sidy Fall, to death in Moss Side on November 17, 2024.

Moments later, as another man – Norman Scott – cycled past, Mr Fall ran after him before repeatedly striking him in the body with the same knife, prosecutors allege.

Mr Fall went into the Alfurqan Islamic Centre, on Great Southern Street, where he was later arrested. Mr Fall, of Milverton Road, denies two counts of murder and is on trial at Minshull Street Crown Court.

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Yesterday, Monday January 2, jurors were told that Mr Fall was living with his dad, Sidy Fall, 75, on Kippax Street in Moss Side. A neighbour heard banging in the early hours of the morning on November 17, 2024, coming from their home, it was said. It is alleged that she was hearing ‘the killing of Sidy Fall by his son.’

The court heard that CCTV footage captured both Mr Fall and his dad heading out onto the street. Minutes later, the neighbour heard music and talking coming from outside, jurors heard.Get More of Our News on GoogleSet Manchester Evening News as a ‘Preferred Source’ to get quicker access to the news you value.

She went to her bedroom window and could see Mr Fall speaking to a man on a bicycle. “That was Norman Scott. She used to call him ‘Boombox guy’ as he would pass her home every morning at about 4am playing his music very loudly,” said prosecutor Andrew Haslam KC.

Police at the scene in Moss Side(Image: Kenny Brown | Manchester Evening News)

Jurors heard that Mr Scott cycled away before Mr Fall chased after him. The neighbour then spotted the defendant carrying what prosecutors say was the knife used to kill his father, and she called the police.

Mr Fall chased Mr Scott up to Great Southern Street before Mr Scott fell to the ground. Prosecutors allege that Mr Fall then attacked him with the knife whilst standing over him.

He then walked to the Alfurqan Mosque, with CCTV capturing him dropping the knife outside the building, jurors were told. “He walked into the building and walked around for a few minutes. He then walked outside, picked up the knife he had dropped, removed his socks and returned to the mosque,” the prosecutor continued.

At the mosque was the caretaker and another man, Aziz Saada, who was there to pray after struggling to sleep, the court heard. First encountering the caretaker, Mr Fall gave him the knife before the caretaker threw it onto a low roof, it was said.

He then met Mr Saada. Giving evidence, Mr Saada said he had met Mr Fall a week before the attack, at the mosque. He said during prayer there was a chair for the camera crew who were filming the Imam give a sermon, but said that Mr Fall moved the chair and stood in its place.

“He then started getting emotional and crying,” Mr Saada said. Asked about November 17, he said the defendant had approached him and said: ‘I want your coat.’

“In a calm manner, I said ‘no, you’re not having my coat’. He then said ‘wait a minute, just wait right there’. He went back to the lobby, and we [the caretaker and Mr Saada] armed ourselves with some sticks that we usually use during prayer to create space.

Police and forensics at the scene of the double stabbing in Moss Side(Image: Kenny Brown | Manchester Evening News)

“The defendant returned to the prayer room and I saw the knife dripping with blood. The eyes of the defendant did not blink. He was fixated on something out of the ordinary.”

Mr Saada said Mr Fall was then speaking with the caretaker and had his back to him, and he planned to ‘grab him’ and ‘disarm him’. However, the caretaker looked at him, and caused Mr Fall’s attention to also be diverted, he told jurors.

He claimed that Mr Fall attempted to ‘get him’ with the knife. “He came towards me and I said ‘OK listen, it’s not worth it, OK. The devil has hold of you tonight. Let’s go and pray together’,” he said.

As Mr Fall made his way down to the washroom to do ablution, Mr Saada said he suggested to the caretaker about locking him in there whilst they called the police. He said Mr Fall had put the knife in the bin, and when he left, the caretaker removed it and hid it under a cloth nearby.

It was then Mr Saada went outside and found Mr Scott, 68, on the floor receiving treatment from paramedics, he said. When police arrived he led them to where Mr Fall was.

In cross examination by Mr Fall’s barrister, Andrew Thomas KC, Mr Saada accepted that he described Mr Fall as ‘looking like he was on another planet’, adding that he ‘looked like a zombie’.

Jurors previously heard that Mr Fall was suffering from ‘delusional beliefs’ at the time of the offences, and believed his dad and Mr Scott were ‘jinns’ (ghosts).

His barrister said the jury should make a finding of not guilty by reason of insanity or diminished responsibility due to abnormal mental function. Mr Fall, of Milverton Road, Manchester, denies two charges of murder.