Dealing with listening to your neighbors fighting constantly
Research shows numerous detrimental effects of disruptive neighbors. Here’s how to make it stop.
I met Mark and Cheryl in the hallway on the third night of living in my new apartment. They were nice and just returning from the gym. I waved to them as they got to their door and walked over to introduce myself.
They were both in their early 20s, attractive, and friendly enough. I thought nothing more of it and hoped we could hang out at some point and be friends.
The problems came early though. They were still in their party phase as a young couple, with music and loud conversations that filtered through my walls every Friday and Saturday night without fail, but also during weekdays. This noise didn’t stop at 10 or 11 PM. It often extended well past midnight. I wondered how they had so much energy.
One night, I heard loud and collective female laughter cut through the wall, and someone shouting, “Oh my god! Me too!”
I’ve struggled with disruptive noise long before this, and have written about my issues with misophonia (a condition where you get triggered by small sounds). Fortunately, and oddly, misophonia often doesn’t trigger with broader, more ambient noises that are more all encompassing. It’s more the squeaking chair in the office, slurping, or the tapping of the pencil on one’s desk that makes you crazy.
After a month of this madness, I finally felt the need to go over and say something to the neighbors. Candidly, I dreaded it, because I don’t love confrontation. But if I waited too long, I knew there was a risk I’d blow up on them — which I’d done in the past by letting my frustrations bottle up.
I knocked on their door, and heard a small dog barking. Then, I heard someone fumbling with the door lock and heard it slide.
The door opened, and Cheryl stood there, looking half-asleep (it was noon at this point). Her expression shifted to a friendly smile, “Hey there. What’s up!”
I said, “Howdy. I hope all is well…so, I’ve been hearing quite a bit of noise coming from this unit lately. I wanted to come by and talk to you guys rather than just start making complaints to the building.”
She seemed surprised, “Oh, really? I had no idea. I’m so sorry. Here, come in.”
I stepped just inside the door, and noticed the apartment wasn’t nearly as trashed as I’d expected. But I did notice they were collecting empty liquor bottles and displaying them on shelves near the kitchen, like this was a frat house.
Mark came shuffling out of one of the back bedrooms like the walking dead, who needed brains due to the absence of his own.
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“Sup,” he mumbled.
We talked for a few and she seemed genuinely surprised that they’d been loud. This part struck me as fishy, because it sounded like the whole state of Virginia was in their apartment at one point. But look — I was hopeful that we could get past it and live in peace. I’d never been in high density housing before and had taken a risk getting the apartment.
I left, feeling hopeful — but those hopes were soon dashed: It got worse.
What started as just loud partying, then turned into continuing, tumultuous fighting between Cheryl and Mark. Something had taken a turn and they seemingly couldn’t agree on whether the sky was blue or not. I heard painful details through the wall, with her shouting at him for drinking, and cringe responses. The pinnacle of these moments came with him shouting, in full “bro” voice, the corniest line I’ve ever heard, “Babe. I’ve only had like two drinks!”
I’d had enough. I was frustrated with the apartment owners for not building more sound proofing in the building (they’d sold this feature during our walkthrough). I hated that these kids were living next door and didn’t have a care in the world for the tumult they were causing.
I began filing complaints with the building administrators, and eventually had to call the cops on two occasions because of laughing and, again, fighting later in the night. It always followed the same pattern. They started drinking earlier in the day and, then, when their moods soured from the prolonged partying, they began fighting. This couple was a glowing neon advertisement for sobriety.
And sadly, it had real consequences for myself and several neighbors.
One study led by Dr. Dirk Schreckenberg examined the connection between annoyance with loud neighbors and health outcomes while living in high density housing. Researchers found a direct link from this noise to stress and mental health problems.
Another study found that these disturbances can lead to significantly higher levels of inflammation in the body, and cause more physical pain. This is due in part to elevated cortisol levels and diminished sleep, which disrupts the repair cycle of the body.
My point being: it’s not a petty issue to be upset about neighbors keeping you up.
Some tips to contend with
First, I’d recommend taking the approach I initially used with my young neighbors. No, my approach didn’t ultimately resolve the issue — but it tends to be the better path at first.
I actually learned the strategy through a police officer I had to call out to my property years earlier. There was a loud barking dog that began yapping at 5 AM every morning. Even worse, it was a beagle, which is a hunting dog whose bark is designed to carry through wide stretches of land. It cut through my walls like a knife through warm butter.
The officer, a middle aged woman with a southern accent said, “Why don’t you write them a letter? It’d help smooth things out and preserve relations.” We’d already tried knocking on the door and nobody was home.
I wrote the letter and it went over super well. The neighbors knocked on my door a week later and apologized. They even said they appreciated the tone of my letter. I’d made it a point to acknowledge that maintaining a job with an early schedule, while also taking care of a dog can be hard to do. I even offered to help them if they needed it. In the end, the problem stopped.
The point being — do all you can to avoid creating a turf war. Address the elephant in the room directly with them, and do so in a kind and empathetic way, that also conveys the difficulty they might be having. Then, stay solutions oriented.
And if that doesn’t work, begin escalating the steps you take. The problem is that if you go instantly to the nuclear option with a new neighbor, there isn’t going to be much room to negotiate with them in the future if there are any issues you need help on — because you never know what might come up.
Lastly, I’d urge you to be on the lookout for actual domestic violence. Do not hesitate to call police if you feel like something is awry and someone might be in danger. The most common source of violence and emotional damage comes from romantic partners. Please be vigilant.
The thing to remember
Unless you live in a remote, rural area, you will likely deal with noise issues with a neighbor at some point in your life. I’d recommend taking a few steps to resolve the issue in a healthy way before throwing the book at them.
A few quick tips: I use a white noise machine at night, which plays a soft grey noise that has some base to it, that helps cancel out deeper sounds. I also sleep with soft ear plugs which evens things out.
Lastly, respect that people are allowed to live too. If they are operating within legally permitted time frames for noise, don’t make it your mission to put a stop to it completely. Some people want to have fun, and that fun can sometimes create noise.
As our population grows, and as more people flock to cities amidst rapid urbanization, we can only expect more issues like the ones I’ve felt. Let’s all remember the power of kindness and empathy as we wrestle with these issues. Prolonged fights with your neighbor aren’t fun — or ideal.
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Jennifer Aniston and Jim Curtis: Hollywood’s New Power Couple Revealed
Jennifer Aniston calls Jim Curtis ‘my love’ in rare social media post
Okay, you guys, I have to talk about Jennifer Aniston and her boyfriend, Jim Curtis, because honestly, this couple has me completely captivated. Jennifer just posted on social media, calling Jim “my love,” and I couldn’t help but smile. Finally, a peek into their relationship! And let’s be real—Jim isn’t your typical Hollywood boyfriend, and that’s exactly why I’m here for this pairing.
Meet Jim Curtis: Hypnotherapist, Author, and Aniston’s Leading Man
Here’s the tea. Jim Curtis is a hypnotherapist, wellness coach, and author. He runs workshops, writes books, and shares transformational coaching tips online. Basically, he’s building a whole wellness empire. And honestly? That’s exactly the kind of grounded, interesting guy I can see Jennifer really connecting with.
He recently hosted a book event, and Jennifer showed up to support him. I mean, come on—seeing her cheer him on like that? It’s the kind of public gesture that makes me smile from ear to ear. Moments like this make the romance feel so genuine and real.
And can we just take a second to appreciate how refreshing it is? “It’s nice to watch her happy without all the usual drama,” I kept thinking as I saw the photos. Jim seems to genuinely complement her energy, and I love seeing Jennifer relaxed, smiling, and truly enjoying being with someone who gets her.
The Public Love Story Fans Can See
Jennifer and Jim were first linked back in mid-2025, and since then, we’ve seen them at private outings, holiday celebrations, and now public events. That “my love” post on social media? Total swoon moment. It’s rare that we get such intimate glimpses into Jennifer’s private life, and honestly, fans are loving it.
It’s clear she’s intentional about sharing moments with Jim. You can tell this relationship is serious—there’s a confidence and comfort in the way she interacts with him. And for me, that makes it feel real.
I also can’t help but notice the little things: the quiet gestures, the playful moments in public photos, the way they genuinely seem to enjoy each other’s company. This is the kind of chemistry and respect that makes celebrity relationships actually watchable, if you ask me.
Hollywood’s New Power Couple?
I have to say, I’m fully here for it. Between Jennifer’s legendary acting career and Jim’s growing influence in wellness, this couple is showing us how two people from very different worlds can actually complement each other perfectly. They’re not just a “look good together” pairing—they bring brains, careers, and values to the table, and it’s honestly exciting to watch.
And here’s the part I love the most: “It’s rare that you get a couple who both brings their own thing to the table, yet they complement each other perfectly. Jennifer and Jim? They might just be the couple we didn’t know we needed,” is exactly how I feel.
Sure, wedding rumors are swirling—but there’s nothing official yet. And honestly, that’s not what matters. What matters is watching them enjoy their relationship in public, share small, sweet moments, and just be themselves. This is one couple I’m happily obsessed with—and I know I’m not alone in that.
Sudan: One woman’s fight to care for her neighbours in Sudan
Keep eyes on SudanDonate to SudanHomeOur workFollow your donationsYour impactSudan: One woman’s fight to care for her neighbours in Sudan
10 December 2025
Editor’s note: This article contains descriptions of violence that some may find disturbing.
In a crisis that has stripped millions of their basic rights, Khatmala’s community kitchen proves that humanity survives even when systems collapse.
In Gedaref’s internally displaced persons camps, Khatmala runs a ‘takaaya’ – a community kitchen – where she provides and shares food and drink, that have become lifelines for those who have lost everything.
“I fetch water, get the ice ready, and then people start coming,” she says. “My joy never fades. I just keep talking with people, I don’t like to sit idle.”
In a nation where more than 12 million have been displaced and over 30 million people need humanitarian assistance, Khatmala’s takaaya has become something extraordinary – the difference between life and starvation for people in Sudan.
What happens when every right disappears
The long-running conflict in Sudan has created what the UN calls the world’s worst humanitarian crisis. Over 80% of healthcare facilities are closed, food production has collapsed and there famine-like conditions being reported from multiple regions.
For women and girls, the conflict has been devastating.
More than 12 million live at risk of gender-based violence. Sexual violence has become a systematic weapon of war with widespread and horrific reports of women being forced into sexual slavery, gang rapes and the assault of children.
Simply being female in Sudan, as UN Women puts it, is “a strong predictor of hunger, violence and death.”
The fundamental rights in the Universal Declaration – life, security, food, shelter, freedom from torture – have been obliterated for millions.
This is the context in which Khatmala serves tea each morning.
A true community kitchen
Takaayas in Sudan represent something profound: when institutions fail, communities become the last line of defence.
“Every Friday, I cook breakfast and sometimes lunch,” Khatmala explains. Camp police help when they can. Neighbours contribute what little they have. “Everyone comes and eats. You have to extend your hand to others.”
Before Islamic Relief’s support, conditions were harsh.
“When it rained, I sat there soaking wet,” she remembers. The organisation brought a tent, sheeting, supplies. “Now I’m covered. Now I can do more.”
The support represented more than materials, it was recognition. Her work matters.
“I can’t ignore a hungry person. If I see a neighbour’s child who hasn’t eaten, I share what I have. That’s just God’s mercy.
“I try to give what I can, so I don’t forget the blessings I receive,” she reflects. “When you eat from what God gives, remember those who have less.”
When the world looks away
Islamic Relief’s first ever intervention was responding to famine in Sudan in 1984 – Over 4 decades later and we are still here. In the past 2 years alone, Islamic Relief has reached more than 1.2 million people with vital humanitarian aid including food, water, medical support, dignity kits, and support for initiatives like Khatmala’s kitchen.
The gap between need and response is catastrophic, however. Without urgent action, Sudan risks total state collapse, a nightmare with massive regional consequences. Without proper funding and without political will to end the conflict, millions more will be pushed past the brink.
When asked what message she would give to people beyond Sudan, Khatmala says: “I just want to tell people: do good. We don’t need to brag – just say, ‘Alhamdulillah, we helped.’ Even a handful of dirt, if given sincerely, is valuable to God.
“Whatever you can give, we accept with open hearts. We just want your kindness, your good words, your prayers.”
Photo: As conflict forces thousands to flee their homes in Sudan, families endure life in temporary camps with limited access to clean water, food, and safety.
The work that cannot wait
Khatmala’s story offers an urgent reminder: human rights aren’t abstract principles. They are fundamentals. They are the difference between life and death.
This Human Rights Day marks the end of 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence campaign, we need to celebrate and support community leaders like Khatmala. We need to ensure women’s participation in peace processes and hold perpetrators accountable. Transform pledges into resources that actually reach people.
Crucially we need to view people like Khatmala clearly, not as helpless victims, but as architects of their own survival, deserving partnership and support.
Islamic Relief has been supporting vulnerable communities in Sudan for over 40 years. To support our lifesaving work and help women like Khatmala continue serving their communities, please donate to our Sudan Emergency Appeal today.
