- People We Meet on Vacation Ending Explained: Are Poppy and Alex Meant to Be?Find out whether the travel buddies go from friends to lovers in the Emily Henry rom-com.By Miranda TsangJan. 13, 2026
This article contains major character or plot details.
InPeople We Meet on Vacation, long-distance best friends Poppy (Emily Bader) and Alex (Tom Blyth) grow closer on their annual trip despite living in different cities. But the classmates turned travel buddies, who visit a new destination every year — Canada, Barcelona, New Orleans — are strictly platonic. Until they aren’t.
Alex and Poppy first meet on an ill-fated road trip to their shared Ohio hometown after their freshman year at Boston College. The drive starts off on the wrong foot — freewheeling Poppy is an hour late, pushing their departure time to the middle of rush hour. As they chat to pass time in traffic, it’s instantly apparent that they disagree on everything (especially the appeal of saxophone and the virtues of running). After finally escaping the gridlock, they get locked out of their car while at a gas station and become stranded in the middle of nowhere, so they have to share a hotel room that night. Spending so much time together helps them break through their surface differences and realize they share a similar spirit, kicking off a friendship that brings them together for an epic trip each summer.
Author Emily Henry made sure the duo’s meet cute set the right tone for their relationship. “It’s really important that you actually see these two characters as friends,” she tells Tudum. “As true, platonic, best friends who love each other, but not in a romantic or sexual or sensual way to begin with.” 
PHOTO BY MICHELE K. SHORT
The New York Times bestselling author was inspired to write the friends-to-lovers story after rewatching the beloved ’80s rom-com When Harry Met Sally… “I wanted to try to do sort of a gender-flipped version of that in which the female lead would be the Harry character. Then our Sally character is the male lead, a true romantic,” says Henry, who based her characters’ travels on her own life experiences. “For this book, I was trying to figure out a good place for these two characters to fall in love. And it came to me that it shouldn’t just be one place; it should be a bunch of different places. So I took a lot of my favorite vacations and I pulled details from those, and I wrote this story of a vacation romance that spans 12 years.”
Directed by Brett Haley, with a cast including Molly Shannon (Saturday Night Live), Alan Ruck (Succession), Jameela Jamil (The Good Place), Lukas Gage (You, Dead Boy Detectives), Sarah Catherine Hook (First Kill, The White Lotus), and Lucien Laviscount (Emily in Paris), People We Meet on Vacation reminds us of what it’s like to find your person and fall in love. “I want to bring depth and care and heart and humor and entertainment to the rom-com genre,” says Haley. “I don’t think [rom-com] should be a dirty word. I think it should be something that’s celebrated. These films speak to people about some of the biggest themes in our lives — about love, who you really are, who you want to be, how you want to spend your life, your relationship with yourself.”
So what happens to turn these friends into lovers? Read on to find out how Alex and Poppy fall in love, where their travels take them, and what happens when they finally confess their feelings to each other. 
PHOTO BY DANIEL ESCALE
What were the filming locations for People We Meet on Vacation?
Following their road trip home from college, the duo set off to Squamish, Canada, where they go camping and party with some strangers in the woods. Later, they take on New Orleans, pretending to be a honeymooning couple to get free drinks. But it’s a trip to romantic Tuscany with their significant others that finds Poppy and Alex thinking of one another in a new light. There, Alex gets engaged and puts an end to his and Poppy’s annual trips together. Finally, the duo reunite in Barcelona for Alex’s brother’s wedding.
Fun fact: Although Alex and Poppy’s vacations take place around the world, filming took place in just two cities. Says Haley, “The biggest challenge of the film, by far, was how to pull off Canada, Tuscany, New Orleans, Ohio, and New York City in the Barcelona area. We didn’t use that many sets. Everything you see is mostly practical.” While there’s plenty of what Haley calls “invisible trickery” to establish the exotic locales, he hopes you’ll just enjoy the adventure. “I want people to feel like, ‘Wow, they went all around the world to shoot this film,’ because that’s the way it should feel.”
PHOTO BY DANIEL ESCALE
When do Poppy and Alex finally kiss?
While they’re vacationing in Tuscany — Alex with his on-again, off-again high school sweetheart, Sarah (Hook), and Poppy with her new photographer boyfriend, Trey (Laviscount) — Poppy begins feeling ill and wonders if she might be pregnant. She texts Alex and the two of them steal outside to discuss her situation. Alex encourages her to take a pregnancy test, and they find a small drugstore that’s open late.
When Poppy gets a negative result, she and Alex are both relieved. Now that they share this secret, the pair are full of gratitude for one another and come together in a long-anticipated almost kiss. But they quickly retreat, with Alex questioning what their relationship is and Poppy professing regret since they are best friends. Both leave the situation feeling rebuffed, and we’ll have to wait longer for the two to act on this chemistry.
The next morning, Alex and Sarah get engaged. Though Poppy hides her disappointment, she later tells Alex that she thinks he’s settling. Alex, on the other hand, says he’s compromising to get what he wants: a stable, loving relationship. He can’t go on any more vacations with Poppy.
PHOTO BY DANIEL ESCALE
How do Poppy and Alex reunite?
After not having spoken to him since Tuscany, Poppy calls Alex to feel out whether she should attend his brother’s wedding in Spain. She learns that Alex and Sarah have broken up for good. Despite having a work trip that week, Poppy decides to go.
At the rehearsal dinner, Alex learns that Poppy turned down a press trip to Greece to go to the wedding. Afterward, outside her vacation rental, he asks why she came. She admits to missing him and wishing things could go back to the way they were before their kiss in Tuscany. Alex says things can’t go back, and they part ways.
But once Poppy is back in the apartment, Alex returns. They both admit their true feelings and at last share a romantic kiss in the rain before spending the night together. The next day at the wedding goes well, but as the night ends Alex asks Poppy about their plans for the future. Poppy is hesitant to figure it out, preferring to enjoy the evening together, and Alex walks away — he says that while they love each other, they wouldn’t ever work as a couple. 
PHOTO BY DANIEL ESCALE
Do Alex and Poppy end up together?
Thankfully, yes. Back home in New York City, Poppy realizes that her reluctance to commit has cost her the one person she’s ever truly cared about. She quits her job at a travel magazine and heads back to Alex’s house in Ohio. After literally chasing him down in dramatic fashion (this is a rom-com, after all), she confesses her feelings in the middle of a crosswalk: She was scared. She was afraid he’d think she was too much if he knew who she was outside of their annual vacations. She truly does want to be with him, even if it means changing her life.
Because whatever else changes, one element will always be familiar Poppy and Alex’s relationship: each other. Ultimately, no matter where she is in the world, Poppy feels at home with Alex. Explains Henry, “I think home really is where you feel like you can be entirely yourself, where you won’t second guess yourself. You won’t worry about being rejected in some way. I think we all deserve that.”
Alex responds to Poppy’s confession in kind, and the movie ends with scenes of them enjoying a glass of wine in their shared NYC apartment and relaxing on a beach together, on vacation (a nod to the PWMOV book cover). As the credits roll, “I want viewers to feel that sense of home,” Henry says. “I want them to be reminded that there’s no such thing as too much. As a person, you’re not too much, you’re not too little. It’s OK to be who you are. The only way to really have true love and intimacy is to let people see that full, messy version of you. That’s really scary, but I think it’s also the most rewarding, meaningful thing you can do in life.”
For Haley, the couple are a perfect pair, despite their differences. “I don’t think you want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t challenge your worldview,” he says. “I don’t know how much fun that is, and I don’t know how much you’re going to learn about yourself. We learn about ourselves through love, and I think that’s very much at the heart of Poppy and Alex.”
People We Meet on Vacation is streaming on Netflix. And stay on the lookout for even more Emily Henry adaptations on the way.
“Singleness Is Not a Failure”: 17 Single Women Share What They Wish You Knew
August 25, 2025
written by LAUREN BLUE
Growing up as young women, we’re inundated with media telling us there’s one real goal in life: find true love. From the princesses we dressed up as as kids to the rom-coms we obsessed over in high school, the same trope played out again and again. Someone is plucked from their sad, lonely, single existence and thrust into a world of sunshine and rainbows the moment they meet “the one.” As we get older, we realize that there are many other rewarding aspects of life that have nothing to do with romance, yet the early messaging still lingers in the back of our minds.
What none of those books or movies showed, though, was the chaos of being single in 2025. The endless Hinge dates. The string of weddings you attend solo. The slow trickle of friends pairing off until you’re the last single one in the bunch. Whether it’s completely by choice or because you just haven’t met “your person” yet, being the only single friend means you’re constantly bombarded with questions about your dating life—usually from people who don’t actually understand what modern dating is like. When you’re asked for the thousandth time, “So, are you seeing anyone?” it can be hard to say what you really think. That’s why we’re giving The Everygirls a platform to be completely honest. From needing more support to not wanting to talk about dating at all, here’s what single Everygirls wish they could tell their coupled-up friends.
They don’t need a partner to be whole
A common misconception many people in relationships have is that their single friends are constantly searching for their “other half.” In reality, they are complete, whole people regardless of their relationship status. They wish their friends in relationships understood that they don’t need someone else to determine their worth. Kira, 35, is open to dating right now but feels her friends don’t see her as valuable without a partner. She worries they view her being single as a “problem to be solved.” “When they say, ‘I don’t know why you’re single,’ it makes me feel like they’re searching for a reason or explanation,” she said. Bri, 40, who is also open to a relationship but not actively looking, agrees. “I’m not worried about dying alone, don’t worry about it for me,” she said. She’s perfectly comfortable and happy on her own, and she believes fear isn’t a valid reason for committing to another person. “I’m more worried about not living my life on my terms, and if no one meets my standards and is a true partner that I would enjoy and want, I’m totally fine never having a partner,” she said.
“I’m not worried about dying alone, don’t worry about it for me.”
Angie, 36, also struggles with her friends accepting her high standards. It took her years of therapy to reach a place where she’s happy with herself, and with that hard work came higher standards for what she wants in a partner. “I’m not searching for peace and joy outside of myself; rather, someone who I can share that with, and who can add to it,” she said. It can be difficult for people whose relationships are central to their lives to realize that their friends without long-term partners or children still have plenty of important things happening.
Their accomplishments are worth celebrating, too
So many of life’s biggest celebrations are connected to long-term relationships. When you don’t have a wedding, baby shower, or something similar on the calendar, people tend to overlook your accomplishments and milestones. Promotions, moving, or other big events not centered on relationships rarely get the same attention from friends.
Nia, 42, would love to meet someone, but in the age of dating apps, has little hope of meeting a partner IRL. As the only single one in her friend group, she feels her friends are waiting until her life looks similar to theirs instead of celebrating the difference. “I’m expected to celebrate all your traditional accomplishments, and too often it is not reciprocated for my accomplishments,” she said. “I feel treated as a less than at times.” Everyone wants to feel recognized for their hard work, and for single friends, it’s too often overlooked. Perry, 33, who is actively dating, relates to this too. She feels her friends will never understand how hard dating is right now, and too often it’s the only thing they’re interested in. “The main focus is always relationships and kids,” she said. “How about your friends who are crushing it in the other areas of their lives?”
Dana, who is actively dating for the first time since her eight-year relationship ended, wishes her friends were more supportive of her single life. “My life is still important just because I don’t have marriage and kids… I feel like I don’t get asked questions about myself or my life or how I actually am,” she said. “I am always so supportive of them, but feel I don’t get much back now.” She added that it can be “really fucking lonely sometimes.”
They don’t want your dating advice
It may come from a place of love, but whatever cliché you’re telling your friends, trust that they’ve already heard it a million times. Almost all of our readers said they’re sick of hearing “it’ll happen when you least expect it,” “you’ll meet someone,” and “you just have to put yourself out there.” Many Everygirls found advice from friends who haven’t dated in years condescending and unhelpful.
“The world is constantly putting pressure on women to prioritize finding a partner… the last place we need that pressure is from our friends.”
Mandy, 25, who is single by choice, knows this feeling all too well. “Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean you know better about dating [or] partners,” she would tell her friends. “You may be too scared to be alone, but I’m not. You may determine your happiness by your relationship status, but I don’t. My goal is to end up with the love I deserve, not receiving love from anyone I encounter.” Jane, 32, is also tired of unwarranted advice from friends. “I don’t want advice, and my dating life is not your entertainment,” she said. “Of course, a bad date story every now and then is great, but it shouldn’t be your main point of entertainment every time we talk.” For her, dating isn’t just a funny story to be told over a glass of wine—it’s her actively trying to find someone to be with. It’s natural to want to hear what your friends are up to, including dating, but be mindful not to treat their lives like a reality TV show.
They feel left out
It’s normal for friendships to ebb and flow with life circumstances, but when you’re the last single friend, it can feel isolating. With no one to relate to and no plus-one to bring to couples’ events, many readers said they felt left out by their friends. Sometimes friends in relationships don’t invite single friends because they don’t want them to feel left out when it’s only couples. But the opposite often happens. Friendships should still offer mutual support, whether both people are single or partnered. “I wish I could tell them that they still need to show up for me in the same manner I show up for them,” Alisha, 44, said. “Just because they are partnered doesn’t mean the effort to maintain friendships should diminish.”
Single friends may even rely on friendships as a support system more than someone in a relationship. They don’t have a partner to lean on, so it’s especially important their friends are there. “Please check in on your single friends,” Jillian wants all friends in relationships to remember.
“You may determine your happiness by your relationship status, but I don’t.”
But friendship is a two-way street, and people in relationships may think their single friends aren’t interested in hanging out if that means the kids have to tag along or if it’s a takeout dinner at home instead of drinks out. Claire, 32, wants her friends to understand she’s still here for them and wants them to be there for her too. “I am happy to pick up a pizza and bring it to your place, even if your kids scream through dinner,” she said. “I will do a grocery run with you if I can see you.”
They don’t think you understand what dating is like
While most people in relationships braved the dating world at some point, it’s a completely different beast in 2025. In the age of dating apps, regular ghosting, and new trends like banksying popping up every week, dipping your toe into the dating pool isn’t for the weak. It’s exhausting both physically and mentally, and it can sometimes feel like a part-time job on top of your real one.
Many women struggle with friends assuming their lack of a relationship means they aren’t trying, but they wish others understood what dating is really like now. “You last dated at 24, you have no clue what it’s like at 34,” said Sarah. Mira, 39, wishes she could simply tell her friends that “the disappointing dating world can wear you down.”
Not to mention, when friends assume your lack of a partner is directly tied to how much effort you’re putting in, it places the blame on women and only reinforces society’s expectation that women must settle down, while men who aren’t in a relationship are seen as driven or ambitious in their careers. “Help shift the narrative,” said Bea, 35. “The world is constantly putting pressure on women to prioritize finding a partner and to start building a family, and that message can get quite loud and provoke deep loneliness. The last place we need that pressure is from our friends.” There are plenty of aspects of dating that are completely out of anyone’s control, and not being in a relationship isn’t evidence of inadequacy. “Singleness is not a failure, and being partnered has as much to do with luck as anything else,” said Anna, 30.
They love their freedom
While dating may be hard, being single comes with its perks. Almost every responder put how much they value the freedom that comes with not being in a relationship. Being single has allowed so many women to understand who they truly are without the influence of a partner. They can learn what they like, what they want to do with their life, and who they want to be without making the inevitable compromises that come with sharing a life with someone. That freedom can be incredibly empowering.
“I don’t want advice, and my dating life is not your entertainment.”
Isla, who is now single after a divorce, said, “I got married to escape a certain life, but only got trapped in another. I finally feel free.” Emma, 35, can relate. “You decide everything, no compromises. Your time is yours. Your path is yours. You can focus on yourself, without doing emotional labor for others,” she said.
If you want to pack up and move to start a new job, get a pet, sell your house, or make any other decision, big or small, you don’t have to consult anyone. You are solely in charge of your happiness and future, and there is so much power in that.
It can be isolating being the only single friend in the group, but that doesn’t mean your friendships can’t be just as solid. It’s important to recognize that even if your lives don’t look the same, you can still remain close. Friendship shouldn’t be built only on relatability. Being there for your friends—whether that’s comforting them after a horrible first date or standing next to them as a bridesmaid at their wedding—is key to long-lasting friendships. So, next time you’re about to offer to set your friend up with someone they’re “perfect for” (aka the only other single person you know), maybe ask them if that’s even what they want in the first place.
11 Things You Don’t Realize You’re Doing Because You’re Consumed By Jealousy
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By Steve Phillips-Waller – Published on 3rd October 2025
Jealousy often operates beneath the surface of our consciousness, steering our actions in ways we rarely recognize. Most people experiencing persistent jealousy believe they’re being realistic about life’s unfairness. The truth is that jealousy becomes a lens through which they view every interaction, every success story, and every relationship they have.
What makes jealousy particularly dangerous is how it disguises itself as reasonable behavior. You convince yourself that your reactions are justified, that your observations are accurate, and that your behavior is acceptable. Meanwhile, jealousy quietly reshapes your personality and your entire approach to life. Here are behaviors that reveal such jealousy.
1. Constantly monitoring others’ social media.
Your brain has likely created a habit loop around social media monitoring. Every notification becomes a potential trigger. You find yourself taking screenshots of posts to analyze later, checking who liked what, and keeping mental scorecards of everyone’s highlight reels.
Late-night scrolling sessions turn into comparison marathons. You examine vacation photos for signs they’re fake-happy, scrutinize couple photos for cracks in their relationship, and bookmark posts that make you feel inferior so you can torture yourself later.
Your phone becomes a source of self-destruction. Each refresh delivers new material for your inner critic. You miss out on creating your own meaningful moments because you’re too busy tracking everyone else’s lives.
2. Making everything into a competition.
Competition seeps into conversations where none should exist. Your friend mentions getting a promotion, and you’re calculating whether their salary exceeds yours. Someone shares good news about their relationship, and you find yourself highlighting your own romantic milestones.
Even casual discussions become battlegrounds. Book recommendations turn into intellectual superiority contests. Parenting conversations become comparisons of whose children achieve more. Weekend plans get evaluated based on whose social calendar appears more impressive.
Your nervous system stays constantly activated, treating every social interaction as a potential threat to your status. Friendships suffer because people sense they can’t share good news with you without triggering a defensive response. Genuine connections become impossible when every conversation feels like a performance review.
Most exhausting of all, you’re competing in games nobody else knows they’re playing. While others enjoy simple conversations, you’re keeping score in competitions that exist only in your mind.
3. Passive-aggressive behavior and backhanded compliments.
“You’re so brave for wearing that outfit” sounds supportive until you decode the underlying message. Your jealousy has mastered the art of delivering wounds wrapped in compliments.
These verbal jabs allow you to express hostility while maintaining plausible deniability. When confronted, you act confused about why anyone would take offense. “I was being nice,” becomes your standard defense, even though both parties understand the real intention behind your words.
Your compliments consistently contain subtle criticisms. “You’re lucky you don’t care what people think” implies the person lacks social awareness about their flaws. “I wish I could be as relaxed about my appearance as you are” suggests they’ve given up trying.
Eventually, relationships deteriorate because authentic connection requires genuine kindness, not cleverly disguised criticism that serves your need to feel superior while appearing supportive.
4. Sabotaging others’ opportunities or relationships.
Office dynamics reveal jealousy’s destructive power when you conveniently forget to mention networking events or job openings to ambitious colleagues. Or perhaps you take credit for others’ ideas, or spread doubt about a colleague’s capabilities.
Relationship sabotage operates more subtly. You plant seeds of doubt about people’s partners during casual conversations. “Are you sure he’s really working late again?” delivered with feigned concern, creates insecurity where none existed before. Your goal isn’t to protect your friend—you want to diminish their happiness to feel better about your own relationship situation.
Sometimes, sabotage involves giving terrible advice while appearing helpful. You encourage people to take risks you secretly hope will backfire. “You should totally quit your job” sounds supportive but sets them up for failure.
5. Overcompensating and performative behavior.
Designer handbags purchased on credit cards become armor against feelings of inadequacy. Your jealousy drives spending decisions that create financial stress while trying to project success.
Social media transforms into a carefully constructed highlight reel designed to trigger others’ envy of you. Every dinner gets photographed, every purchase gets displayed, and every experience gets exaggerated for maximum impact. You’re essentially creating the same content that makes you jealous when others post it.
Name-dropping becomes a compulsive habit. Conversations get peppered with references to important people you barely know or expensive experiences you couldn’t actually afford. Your authentic self disappears behind a performance designed to impress people you don’t even like.
The irony is, your efforts to appear successful often make you seem desperate instead. People recognize insecure, performative behavior because it lacks the natural ease that comes with genuine confidence. You end up financially stressed, emotionally exhausted, and further from authentic connections than when you started.
6. Selective memory and rewriting history.
Your memory becomes remarkably creative when jealousy takes control. Your friend’s success story gets edited in your mind until their advantages seem enormous and their struggles seem minimal.
“Everything just falls into their lap” becomes your standard explanation for others’ achievements. Their years of education, networking efforts, and strategic decisions get erased from your version of events. Meanwhile, your own challenges get magnified until they seem insurmountable by comparison.
Confirmation bias shapes every interaction. You remember every piece of evidence that supports your narrative while conveniently forgetting contradictory information. Their financial support from family gets emphasized while their student loans get ignored. Their natural talents get highlighted while their hours spent practicing get minimized.
“Must be nice” becomes your response to every positive update, creating distance in relationships. Eventually, your distorted worldview becomes self-fulfilling as people share less, leaving you with incomplete information that supports your existing biases about how unfairly life treats you compared to everyone else.
7. Gossip and character assassination.
Coffee conversations become hunting expeditions for others’ flaws and failures. Your jealousy creates an insatiable appetite for information that diminishes the people who trigger your insecurity.
Finding someone’s weakness feels like discovering treasure. You collect and share these discoveries with others who might appreciate the intelligence. Their relationship problems, financial struggles, or professional setbacks become your entertainment and validation.
Spreading this information (or exaggerated versions of it) serves multiple purposes for your jealous mind. Each story you share attempts to level the playing field by exposing others’ imperfections. You position yourself as the informed insider who sees through everyone’s facades.
Trust decays as people wonder what you say about them when they’re absent. Your reputation becomes associated with drama and negativity rather than reliability and support. Eventually, they stop confiding in you because they know their struggles will become your gossip material, leaving you increasingly isolated from genuine human connection.
8. Dismissing others’ problems and minimizing their struggles.
“At least you have a job” is your automatic response when someone mentions workplace stress. Your jealousy makes it impossible to hold space for others’ legitimate struggles because their problems seem luxurious compared to your perceived disadvantages.
Every conversation becomes a comparison contest where you need to prove your situation is worse. Their relationship difficulties get dismissed because they have a partner. Their financial concerns get minimized because they own property. Their health anxiety gets brushed aside because they have insurance.
Behind this pattern lies a zero-sum thinking that treats empathy like a limited resource. You believe acknowledging others’ struggles somehow diminishes your own suffering. However, dismissing others’ experiences doesn’t improve your situation; it just guarantees you’ll face your own challenges without the support system you’re systematically destroying through your lack of emotional availability and compassion.
9. Self-victimization and blame-shifting.
External forces become responsible for every disappointment in your life while other people seemingly coast through existence without obstacles. Your jealousy creates a narrative where you’re uniquely disadvantaged while everyone else enjoys unfair advantages.
“Why does this always happen to me?” becomes a constant refrain that positions you as life’s victim rather than an active participant in your circumstances. Personal responsibility gets shuffled onto timing, luck, family background, or economic conditions—anything except your own choices and actions.
Others’ success gets attributed to privilege, connections, or circumstances beyond their control. Meanwhile, your struggles result from systemic unfairness that specifically targets people in your situation. This worldview protects your ego while preventing the self-reflection necessary for actual change.
Problem-solving becomes impossible when you’re convinced that external factors control your outcomes. Growth requires acknowledging where you have agency and influence. Maintaining victim status might feel psychologically safer than accepting responsibility, but it guarantees continued frustration because you can’t control the external factors you blame for your circumstances.
10. Seeking validation through others’ failures.
Breaking news about someone’s divorce spreads through your social circle, and you feel an unexpected lightness in your chest. Their perfect relationship wasn’t so perfect after all, and this revelation somehow makes your own romantic struggles feel less shameful.
You find yourself lingering over stories about business failures, especially when they involve people whose success previously made you question your own choices. Their startup closing down or their job loss becomes a topic you revisit multiple times, sharing the news with others under the guise of concern.
Social media becomes a source of guilty pleasure when you discover someone’s life isn’t as polished as their feed suggested. Their workout routine didn’t prevent weight gain. Their dream job turned into a nightmare. Their exotic vacation ended with food poisoning. Each revelation feels like evidence that you were right to be skeptical.
Deep down, you recognize this pattern but struggle to stop because their misfortunes temporarily quiet the voice in your head that whispers you’re falling behind everyone else in life’s race.
11. Defensive behavior when others succeed.
You force a smile while internally cataloging why someone’s achievement isn’t that impressive. Your body language betrays your discomfort through crossed arms, minimal eye contact, and early departures from parties.
Conversations about their success get redirected toward potential future problems or unacknowledged downsides. “I hope you’re prepared for all the extra responsibility” dampens their excitement while disguising your inability to celebrate their win. Every congratulations comes with an implied warning.
Awards ceremonies, promotion announcements, and engagement parties trigger your need to find flaws in their achievement. You question whether they deserved it, highlight how difficult their new situation will be, or immediately change the subject to something less threatening.
Your obvious discomfort during their happy moments creates awkward social dynamics that damage relationships over time. Eventually, you miss out on sharing in others’ joy, which robs you of opportunities for vicarious happiness and genuine connection with people who might otherwise support you during your own challenging times.
It’s Time To Stop Feeding The Jealousy Beast
Catching yourself mid-scroll through someone’s social media represents a victory worth celebrating. Close the app, put down your phone, and notice how your breathing changes when you break that compulsive cycle. These micro-moments of awareness create the foundation for lasting change.
Start practicing one genuine compliment daily without adding qualifiers or hidden meanings. “Congratulations on your promotion” becomes powerful when it stands alone, without your usual additions about how stressful their new role will probably be. Your words begin reflecting kindness rather than competition.
Choose one person whose success typically triggers your defensive reactions and consciously celebrate their next achievement. Send a text, leave an encouraging comment, or simply smile genuinely when they share good news. Your emotional muscles will resist initially, but they strengthen with practice.
Replace comparison thoughts with curiosity about your own goals. When jealousy whispers that someone else has what you want, ask yourself what specific steps you could take toward similar outcomes. Channel that emotional energy into planning rather than resenting.
These small shifts ripple through your relationships and inner world. Friends begin trusting you with their vulnerabilities again. Your social circle expands as people feel comfortable including you in celebrations. Mental energy previously wasted on monitoring and competing gets redirected toward building the life you actually want rather than tearing down the lives others have created.
Breaking free from jealousy’s grip doesn’t require perfection or dramatic personality changes. Each conscious choice to respond differently weakens its hold while strengthening your capacity for genuine connection and personal growth. Your future self will thank you for starting today.
