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How These Walmart BANDITS Landed in DOPEY Dilemma V1110 005 Part 2

Bessie T. Dowd by Bessie T. Dowd
October 18, 2025
in Uncategorized
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How These Walmart BANDITS Landed in DOPEY Dilemma V1110 005 Part 2

Report: ‘remastered’ Reliant Robin with carbon fibre stabilisers will cost £1m+

Start-up announces new plan to revive three-wheeled icon

Cory Spondent

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SATIRE Reliant

Here’s TopGear.com’s roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

A start-up has revealed plans to ‘remaster’ the Reliant Robin by adding carbon fibre stabilisers and charging more than £1m, sources have revealed.

Following a rash of small boutique automotive outlets taking ageing, often unreliable British classics and giving them a modern makeover, the start-up confirmed it had chosen the once-maligned Reliant Robin as its first project.

And it will seek to address the Robin’s infamous yet eternally comical flaw using modern manufacturing solutions unavailable when it was originally built.

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“Our Reliant Robin is a shared vision of the individual dreamers whose ambition is to pay homage to classic automotive icons by feathering time-honoured traditions into effortlessly complex forms while maintaining a disruptor ethic through reshaping narratives via next-generation modern expertise and technology,” a source close to the project said.

“Innovation never sleeps but sometimes lies anxiously in a contextually meditative state anticipating the right artisans to rouse it back into a contemporary grandeur guided by a definitive north star mission philosophy that hacks the future by blending the proverbial low-hanging fruit into an ultimate and uncomplicated analogue smoothie worthy of celebration.

“Our purpose is steered by a simple premise and will be literally unshakeable: big, massive carbon fibre stabilisers across the front axle, a metric boatload of leather, a Bluetooth stereo, and a remapped and tarted-up Rover K-Series engine in there somewhere too.

“For those who repeatedly and comically fall over shall finally understand the truth and embark on the journey of a lifetime for upwards of a million quid.”

The start-up added it had drafted in an award-winning composer to exclusively formulate a “sonically luxurious meep-meep” horn sound, available as a £17,689 optional extra.

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Opinion: how important is age in Formula One?

In fact, does it matter at all, asks Natalie Pinkham?

Natalie Pinkham

2

Published: 14 Oct 2025

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Fernando Alonso

F1 is a sport decided by miliseconds, this year more than ever (the Hungarian qualifying was the closest top 10 spread in F1 history at 0.543secs). Therefore, youth is surely the ultimate performance upgrade. Quick reflexes, elastic recovery and an immune system that can shrug off a triple header like it’s a casual Sunday afternoon drive.

Or in layperson terms: remember when we could do back-to-back nights out as the warmup for a big weekend? And yet some of the sport’s most intriguing stories develop when the hands of time say a driver should be slowing down – their right foot, however, says otherwise.

Take Fernando Alonso, who at 44 is driving fast enough to embarrass racers half his age. His racecraft has been razor sharp in recent seasons, pumping in a P5 at the last race before the summer break. Then there is 40-year-old Lewis Hamilton who is searching for answers, and with seven world titles under his belt, talent is clearly not the issue. Plus, he is in a car that was put on pole by his teammate in Hungary, so he can’t blame the machinery. Attention has then turned to his age, and whether it’s to blame for his single lap performance.

This isn’t new. Damon Hill didn’t even arrive in Formula One until 31 – practically pensionable by modern rookie standards – and he took the world title at the grand old age of 36. I spoke to Damon: “I think it’s more about desire than anything. Alonso’s sabbatical fuelled his desire to come back and be successful, and that’s playing out now.”

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Michael Schumacher’s comeback in his 40s, however, was a sobering reminder of the other side of the story. The genius and guile were both still there, as was his unwavering work ethic, but the combination of younger, hungrier competition and a car that wasn’t tailored to him meant that he couldn’t keep delivering the masterful performances that we knew and loved him for.

There are advantages to being older – your racecraft is honed to perfection, mental resilience tends to be stronger and your technical feedback is generally more precise. And, of course, training, nutrition and wellbeing have also come a long way. Alonso doesn’t drink a drop of alcohol, has single digit body fat and told me he’s the fittest he’s ever been and best he’s ever felt. And yet no one can defy nature indefinitely. With age, and more significantly parenthood, tends to come risk aversion… although try telling new dad Max Verstappen that.

Then there is the gaming generation, a whole haul of younger drivers who have sharpened their skills for years on their Xboxes and simulators at home. A useful trend that the older drivers missed out on entirely. In the end, age in F1 isn’t a straight line decline. It’s a wave – and one that Fernando is surfing sublimely right now. When will it crest and ultimately break? We’ll see. The only numbers that really matter in F1 are on timesheets, not birth certificates.

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